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<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>That's from The Onion (<A
href="http://www.theonion.com">www.theonion.com</A>).</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>- Gray</FONT></DIV>
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<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial">----- Original Message ----- </DIV>
<DIV
style="BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; FONT: 10pt arial; font-color: black"><B>From:</B>
<A title=cynthiatuell@adelphia.net
href="mailto:cynthiatuell@adelphia.net">cynthiatuell@adelphia.net</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>To:</B> <A title=englecturers@lists.ucr.edu
href="mailto:englecturers@lists.ucr.edu">englecturers</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Sent:</B> Saturday, December 15, 2007 8:51
AM</DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Subject:</B> [Englecturers] funny thingy on
grammar</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>Someone forwarded this little piece to me, and so I'm
forwarding it on to you. I don't know who wrote it, but it's
funny.<BR><BR>Happy holidays etc.<BR>Cynthia<BR><BR>Subject: Underfunded
Schools Forced To Cut Past Tense From Language Programs
<BR> <BR> <BR> A part of American school curricula for more
than 200 years, the past <BR>tense was deemed by school administrators to be
too expensive to keep in <BR>primary and secondary education.
<BR> <BR> "This was by no means an easy decision, but teaching our
students how to <BR>conjugate verbs in a way that would allow them to describe
events that have <BR>already occurred is a luxury that we can no longer
afford," Phoenix-area <BR>high-school principal Sam Pennock said. "With our
current budget, the past <BR>tense must unfortunately become a thing of the
past." <BR> <BR> In the most dramatic display of the new trend yet,
the Tennessee <BR>Department of Education decided Monday to remove "-ed"
endings from all of <BR>the state's English classrooms, saving struggling
schools an estimated $3 <BR>million each year. Officials say they plan to
slowly phase out the tense by <BR>first eliminating the past perfect; once
students have adjusted to the <BR>change, the past progressive, the past
continuous, the past perfect <BR>progressive, and the simple past will be cut.
Hundreds of school districts <BR>across the country are expected to follow
suit. <BR> <BR> "This is the end of an era," said Alicia Reynolds,
a school district <BR>director in Tuscaloosa, AL. "For some, reading and
writing about things not <BR>immediately taking place was almost as much a
part of school as history <BR>class and social studies." <BR> <BR>
"That is, until we were forced to drop history class and social studies a
<BR>couple of months ago," Reynolds added. <BR> <BR> Nevertheless,
a number of educators are coming out against the cuts, <BR>claiming that the
embattled verb tense, while outmoded, still plays an <BR>important role in the
development of today's youth. <BR> <BR> "Much like art and music,
the past tense provides students with a unique <BR>and consistent outlet for
self-expression," South Boston English teacher <BR>David Floen said. "Without
it I fear many of our students will lack a number <BR>of important creative
skills. Like being able to describe anything that <BR>happened earlier in the
day." <BR> <BR> Despite concerns that cutting the past-tense will
prevent graduates from <BR>communicating effectively in the workplace, the
home, the grocery store, <BR>church, and various other public spaces, a number
of lawmakers, such as <BR>Utah's Sen. Orrin Hatch, have welcomed the cuts as
proof that the American <BR>school system is taking a more forward-thinking
approach to education and <BR>the dimension of time. <BR> <BR> "Our
tax dollars should be spent preparing our children for the future, <BR>not for
what has already happened," Hatch said at a recent press conference. <BR>"It's
about time we stopped wasting everyone's time with who 'did' what or
<BR>'went' where. The past tense is, by definition, outdated."
<BR> <BR> Said Hatch, "I can't even remember the last time I had to
use it." <BR> <BR> Past-tense instruction is only the latest school
program to face the <BR>chopping block. School districts in California have
been forced to cut <BR>addition and subtraction from their math departments,
while nearly all high <BR>schools have reduced foreign language courses to
only the most basic <BR>phrases, including "May I please use the bathroom?"
and "No, I do not want <BR>to go to the beach with Maria and Juan." Some
legislators are even calling <BR>for an end to teaching grammar itself, saying
that in many inner-city school <BR>districts, where funding is most lacking,
students rarely use grammar at <BR>all. <BR> <BR> Regardless of the
recent upheaval, students throughout the country are <BR>learning to accept,
and even embrace, the change to their curriculum. <BR> <BR> "At
first I think the decision to drop the past tense from class is
<BR>ridiculous, and I feel very upset by it," said David Keller, a
seventh-grade <BR>student at Hampstead School in Fort Meyers, FL. "But now,
it's almost like <BR>it never happens."
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